Carol - yes I did run again! Monday afternoon. Here in Indiana it was right at 70 and a bit warm but it felt great to be outside. Last week I walked to warm up then ran 15 minutes out and 15 minutes back then walked to cool down. This week I went 20 minutes out and tried to do 20 minutes back but ended up walking a bit on the back which shows I should just stick to the 15. Knee - so far so good. Will continue to try to go once a week 30 - 40 minutes.
Yesterday I ended up having a conversation with myself. Monday night, I made a batch of cookies for my sons' daycare. They don't normally go but this week I have software training so she is helping me out. One of the days is 1/2 day off school so I made some cookies for snack time.
As I progress in my moderation approach to eating, I want to become comfortable around trigger foods. With this instance, the cookie making, I ate several tastes of the dough and 2 cookies once done. I went too far I know but yet managed to stop short of any prior time with baking sweets so feel it is progress even though I ate too much.
Yesterday, Tuesday, I got home after 10 hours of computer training and walked in the door to an empty house- put pork loin on the grill for dinner and got changed to work out. There are about a dozen cookies in my house at this point and I walked by and grabbed one and started eating it. BEFORE my work out mind you. I ate 1/2 the cookie, realized what I was doing and pitched it in the trash then got on my spin bike to warm up for my circuit training. Now I said empty house earlier as kids and husband were at baseball. While warming up I proceed to talk out loud to myself, coaching myself on how can I make the choices I want to make. I gave voice to the internal discussions I have around these temptation foods. What I hear myself saying and then what I actually do in response to those voices. I ended up declaring what I want my new behavior to be felt sufficiently motivated to finish my work out and stay out of the cookies rest of the evening.
I am not making this sound near as crazy as it would have sounded had anyone else heard me. But I felt so much better when I was done. Sometimes I just want to ignore that internal critic and then I end up overeating. Hearing the internal voice helped me realize I don't' have to believe it. I can question it and correct what it is saying.
I still haven't decided if I will try again to make baked goods in my house. I do not normally keep sweets around but occasionally we will have them. I no longer want them to have power over me but realize I am early in this process. I learned quite a bit from this situation I can apply to the next time I am faced with temptation.
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I've found that as I journey through this process that my "failures" aren't nearly as bad as my failures from the "old me" days. Yes, I still over eat on occasion (who doesn't?) but I think it is important to recognize improvement whereever it is. After all, we aren't shooting for perfection, we're striving for reasonableness.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm glad you had a good run and hope things continue in that direction!